A love affair in its various formats has been everything from romanticized, bastardized and even vilified throughout time. Depending on the dynamics it can give you a chemical and spiritual high, or can cause you to feel that you are slamming into the pits of the earth faster and with more impact than a meteor (with a few bruises often left behind).

The mere thought of it can cause tingles to dance across our skin, filling us with anticipation, excitement and desire.

What we often forget is that, this thrilling experience has become mistakenly solely based on our connection with another, but there IS another more delectable option, one that can bring a love that lasts a lifetime (and even beyond).

Let your mind wander for a moment, imagining all the different definitions that “Self Love Affair” sparks in you. I have seen individuals blush, grin, giggle and stare up at the sky in wonderment, all with a similar question “what does that mean? Does she mean just to love myself? But she used the word affair?…”

And here is the key between entering a Love Affair with Yourself and the concept of self-love: the intensity, the dedication, the curiosity, the primal passion and the sheer sexual connection.

“Intensity… a self-love affair shifts us from somewhat dispassionately loving ourselves to becoming passionate about our existence, our experiences. We are on fire for who we are!”


Curiosity… love affairs naturally encourage intimate curiosity and when applied to yourself, you begin to become effortlessly curious about your own loves, likes and triggers. You find yourself paying attention to your own thoughts and feelings… not because you are forced to, but because you want to. You are loving yourself in such a way that you want to know more “of you”.

Intensity… a self-love affair shifts us from somewhat dispassionately loving ourselves to becoming passionate about our existence, our experiences. We are on fire for who we are!

Dedication… engaging in the delectable experience of a self-love affair we find ourselves even more dedicated to our own wellbeing, we care for our bodies better (for we experience the bliss they bring us) and we look forward to time alone (because of the joy we experience from our own company).

Sexuality… self love goes beyond regular “loving of the self” to experiencing joyfully through this body, mind and spirit… including those delicious sexual moments. We may share love with another (while savoring the experience of loving ourselves), we may make love to ourselves knowing how worthy of this sensational experience we are. As we bring that sexual energy into our experience of self love we allow our Spirit to sing through the body and we celebrate that song… feeling it vibrate through our cells in the most physically and spiritually tantalizing ways.

So how can we dive into this divine experience of knowing and loving ourselves with the passion that we (too) often merely direct to others in our life?

When you wake up in the morning next to a lover/spouse/partner you would greet them with a warm smile and a “Good Morning”. Try doing this to yourself; upon waking inwardly smile and welcome yourself to the new day.

Spend time getting to know the “I” within that is You. Take yourself for coffee or relax in the park and have a chat with the inner you. Bringing along a notebook or laptop can be a great way to do this, as you can allow yourself to “free write” (meaning getting the mind out of the way and just typing whatever is coming up as you talk with yourself) and it allows you to write down key thoughts and discoveries. If you are challenged with how to get started, take a deep breath, focus on an area of life or experience and ask yourself a question (like you would a friend) e.g. “so what did I/You truly feel about (fill in situation)” or “what’s one of your/mine dream adventures?”

Enjoy physical activity that makes you feel free. If you love to dance find a private room, turn on some music and seduce yourself into dancing. Ask your body to move in any way that feel fantastic and admire yourself in the process. If you like to cycle, invite yourself on a bike ride and be present, enjoying the company of “you” while savoring the way your body feels in momentum.

Explore what you truly look like and admire those features that stand out to you. Instead of rushing through doing your make up, or brushing your hair as you hurry to get dressed, try actually seeing yourself in the mirror. Get to know your face, your eyes, your body — appreciate what you see and allow yourself to be proud of it.

Make Love to Yourself. Loving yourself physically as well as emotionally is a powerful way to enhance your self-worth while connecting more genuinely into your personal sexual self. Even by merely caressing your own skin, running your hands over your thighs or delving further into the realm of self-seduction and experiencing how much pleasure you can bring to you, a shift will happen in your system that will create rippling effects in all parts of your life.

A Self Love Affair is a mind-blowing relationship with you on your way to Soulgasms. It will add fire to your energy, spark to life, and create wondrous shifts within your relationships with others. Give it a try and you may be shocked at how much you can really love…you.



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